Sharp Knife

“Oh, no. Here comes Alan,” she whispered to the rest of us. We quickly put our heads down in our work.

“Hi, everbody!” Alan said. “How is everyone this morning?”

A few mumbled “fines” could be heard before Janice said, “Great Alan! How are you?” I made eye contact with Susan. She rolled her eyes, as if to say, “Why does Janice do this to us?”

“I’m doing fantastic. It’s another great day! Anyone want to get lunch today?” Alan said.

“Um, can’t got a meeting.”

“Ooh, sorry, have plans.”

Other excuses were muttered out of sides of mouths. Even Janice declined.

The look on Alan’s face was one of disappointment but you could also see that he expected those answers.

You see, Alan didn’t wear clothes. Ever. Who wants to eat lunch with a naked dude, right?

But what does Alan’s exposed floppy dong have to do with cooking? (Come on, let’s give him a little credit, at least.)

Well, if you’re trying to cook without a good knife and the knowledge to use it, guess what? You’re Alan.

A good knife and knife skills are as fundamental to cooking as clothes are to social interaction at work. Not knowing how to use a knife effectively makes cooking much harder and more frustrating. Likewise, a dull, poor quality knife leads to slow progress for each dish. Your slices take more effort. Your dice are not uniform. Cooking is a bother, so you just skip it and order a pizza. Then before you know it, you’re topping 300lbs and you can’t see your own floppy dong.

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